Feeling Pathetic is a Sign of Growing Up

I have this problem.

It seems as though no matter where I go or when I'm there, I'll always find some attractive male. No matter what.

"This is a bad thing?" you ask, as if I'm speaking blasphemy.

Why, yes, dear readers. It is.

Its a curse, really. Maybe the guy really isn't that cute at all but somehow, I find something. Something to fantasize about, to analyse and wonder about. There's always just "something about him". You know?

And then, as the first emotions swell in my heart, I realize that no matter what, and I mean without fail, I'll never see this guy again, never talk to him, never even find out his name.

There have been many times where I did find out his name, usually in a school or work setting but as of late, I've come to realize one thing, that I've always either discovered that they were:

1) Gay
2) Taken
3) Creepy
4) Dickwad-y
5) Really not my type
6) Above my type. As in, there's no way in heck this guy will even stand to touch me

Now, I'm not saying I'm an unworthy person. I think I'm pretty, funny, sweet, smart...all sorts of things. But sometimes, people were born to be with someone just like them or someone just a tad lamer. No one really gets someone who's better, per se, cuz really, no one's better. Everyone has faults.

What I'm trying to say is that more often than not, I'll be infatuated with some guy. I'll semi-stalk him if its in a school setting. Find out what he likes through Facebook or Myspace. And then, I'll feel my heart constrict whenever I see him. But sooner or later, I'll realize there's no way he'll ever make a move and there's no way in heck I'll make a move and really, its just pointless.

All the guys I've dated, I've dated because they had an interest in me. Didn't matter if I found them attractive or not. It just mattered that they liked me for me or for my body or maybe just for what I had to say, whatever. It didn't matter. It was very unfair to all of them and some of them, I did form a good relationship with.

But it wasn't what it could've been. it wasn't real, honest liking. It was just pretend so that I could feel better.

So for once, for ONCE, I just beg that I can please be in a relationship with someone I'm actually infatuated with. And preferably soon.

XOXO
Jacks

I Like How Geniuses Feign Boredom

No, seriously. He claims he was bored. Heh. Right.

Some Mistakes Are Meant to Be Made...Right?

Although I claim to have full confidence in my decision of not auditioning for the UIL show (I didn't audition for the one last year either), I'm now starting to regret it. But doesn't it make sense to not audition because it'll only stunt the future of people who actually WANT to be famous, renowned actors and actresses? Those people that need a show like this on their resumes. It made sense yesterday but the universe, I clearly see now, is against me.

See, instead of auditioning (a choice I made promptly late) I headed to Starbucks to buy a drink with the money I had left in my wallet ($3.43, ha). It was fun being at Starbucks like it always is mostly because I like to think I'm a total artsy sort of person who spends valuable time at Starbucks producing poems and short stories that I send to prodigious contests. I have in fact done something like that but it wasn't at a Starbucks. Ah well.

Anyway, my mom showed up after an hour of divulging into my world of Phantom of the Opera and this girly book I just checked out yesterday. But luck of all luck, I come home and BOOM! Phone's gone. I call up the Starbucks and they haven't recovered any missing phones. Later, my mom receives texts alluding to someone taking the phone back to school but then they text us later saying they have it and will gladly give it back. I call, instruct them to give it to the lost and found at school under my name.

Its the next day and I checked the lost and found. No phone.

Yep, its Karma. I hate my life.

Anyway, I hear the auditions were great and there weren't very many people so that meant greater chances of getting a role. Fantastic. Then, I also hear that the director is encouraging the group that will be chosen to be close knit and learn from this experience like their trip to Scotland over the summer (which I also missed).

I'm done regretting. Really, people, I don't want to do it anymore. In fact, if someone really did invent a time machine, I would be that person who'd screw history and go through my past to change small things. Which, c'mon, is not healthy. You aren't supposed to freakin' regret things. The laws of life say you should live life whole-heartedly and not regret decisions made. Accept the choices you've made. Blah blah blah.

But I can't. And now I'm feeling very, very stupid. Shocker.

XOXO

-Jacks

This Was Mostly Because I Had an Odd Number of Posts (Oops)

A Long-Lost Blogger Just Wanted to Say, "Hello"

That was your cue to say, "You had me at 'long-lost blogger'!"

(You know, instead of 'You had me at hello'?" Heh.)

Anyway, not much has been going on BUTTTT...I have a semi-review for anyone who's interested!

Okay, so, I've never been a big Sex in the City fan. Heck, I've only seen the show maybe once. In any case, I saw the new flick that hit theaters Friday and oh, did I make a mistake in skipping out on the show! I admit, I'm a bit judgemental but can you blame me? The crap that goes around TVs these days is ridiculous.

All-in-all, the film was pretty damn cute. No joke. There were surprises, great fashion (of course, right?), and not to mention fantastic drama! Plus, it wouldn't hurt to say that most of it was pretty realistic. Except for the fact that most people aren't all that rich, right?

Anyway, I give it 4 stars. What can I say? The movie actually made me feel good, you know? Sometimes, there's that one movie that makes you feel grateful for the things you have and the people you know and love. Well, that's what Sex in the City did for me, Jacks.

I bet Love Actually might do the same to me too. I'll get all sappy and teary, thanking God for all that He's given me. It sucks that it has to be a movie that does that.

So, because I'm feeling all sweet and generous, I'll part with another little Jacks-gift that only screams ME:

http://failblog.org/