Hmm, don't think so. I believe you have to not be selfish, you can't complain about the hard nights and the long hours, and suck up all the demands, the rules, the horrible uniforms.
So, then, although I'm in the working class now, why can't I manage to be a heroine?
I'm sure its no big deal and really, its not such a hard descision but -- why do I feel so guilty about thinking about quitting? I've been thinking about it for ages. AMC just isn't my cup of tea. I can't help that. I can't help that my grades are dropping. Okay, so that's a lie but you know how it goes. Teachers/tests/homework form one gigantic migraine of a duty.
I couldn't help hearing the relunctance and disappointment in my parents' voices as they soothed my worries with the words, "Maybe you should quit."
I couldn't help but suddenly contemplate worse depressions than the ones previously when I decided to share my wealth. I mean, what would happen when I wouldn't have wealth to share?
I'm so confused. I feel ten years older than I am. Why can't I just stop complaining, face reality, and accept that maybe, AMC and work isn't as painful as I once thought.
But isn't it? Haven't I had panic attacks and numerous nights of crap?
Currently, I'm sighing and pondering and listening to the joyful fiddle in the song "Seven Deadly Sins" by Flogging Molly.
Its not really helping. But I'm not really depressed; just weighted down with numerous worries and thoughts. Deadlines.
Anyway, its getting late and I'm supposed to be re-examining my health.
XOXO
Jacks
