I was planning on posting a rundown of my weekend but it's worthy of some hot topics that I feel I should get out so I'll have to save it for later when I have time to type it all out. For now, on an unrelated topic, I'm in the dumps. The shithouse. I thought I was doing okay but it's like every time I get on the phone with one of my relatives, it all comes slamming back ilke a soccer ball to the face. I lay there, dazed for hours until someone helps me up and tells me, "Jacks, the game's still going."
Time keeps moving even when there's not enough time. Too much time. The right time to do x, the wrong time to do y.
I'm getting close to a monumental age. The big 2-1. I'm excited not because of the whole alcohol thing (I mean, partially that, of course) but also because that's just one step further toward adulthood. No matter where you are mentally, when people look at you, do you hold yourself, do you appear to be a certain age?
I don't think so. In a lot of ways I look like a young adult as I am. Could possibly still pass for high school age. Either way, does anyone take me seriously? Sometimes, I don't care. In fact, the thesis of today's entire entry is exactly that. I no longer care.
I don't care about what I wear, don't care about the fact that I have to wear glasses for a few days because my contacts were annihilated, don't care that I'm not getting a boyfriend/lover/fuckbuddy as quickly as I used to want to, don't care that I have a huge test coming up or a huge essay that needs writing. I hardly care if I just insulted the guy sitting next to me in Film Analysis. In fact, I don't care so much that I can no longer be embarrassed by much of anything besides a professor I know hearing me poop in the other stall and right now, I'm not sure how much I'd really care about if I thought about it.
The only things I do care about is saving enough money, getting a license, finding an internship, finding a fucking career for that matter.
All I care about is...
how soon can I get out of here?
XOXO
Jacks
2 comments:
Love you. <3 It'll get easier. You're a strong lady, my friend.
You got a Warrior Princess at your back; just lemme know who I gotta take down.
If people don't take you seriously, there is something wrong with them. You are older. I know that some women don't like hearing that, but you are older and wiser than any women I have met and gotten to know :)
-Joe
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