You'll be Damned to Pining Through the Windowpanes You Know

From "Australia" by the Shins.

I'm using this lyric this afternoon in relation to the ongoing battle in my head. I know it's bad to dream constantly about the future or dream in general. In completely cliche terms, when I was a kid, I did fantastically well in school while also maintaining another life inside my head. When I got older and people made me aware of how different I think and how different I was from the person in my head, I fell further and further into the dreamworld and farther away from reality. Recently, it has been my mission with the help of my relentless and loyal guide, to regain reality, to exist in a happy present instead of avoiding it altogether. So far, this mission has been successful in various areas of my life - until something happened and all I can do is dream. It doesn't help that I'm a Pisces or that I'm so close I can feel everything that I've ever wanted to touch be an inch away. And it especially doesn't help when quotes like this pop up,

Radcliffe met girlfriend Rosie Coker, a production assistant, on the set of the last Potter film. “When Rosie’s here, every day seems better. Ultimately, I think, it comes down to that—having somebody in your life who makes you happier than you thought you could be.” He adds, “I’m not an easy person to love. There are lots of times when I’m a very good boyfriend, but there are times when I’m useless. I mean, I’m a mess around the house. I talk nonstop. I become obsessed with things [fantasy football, most recently]. And she listens to it, and she loves me for my oddness, my awkwardness, all of those things that I hate about myself.”

And all I want to do is leave and move to London.

BUT.

Everything is fantastic right now. Problems, issues and drama will never abate but that's half the entertainment. Not to mention, The Vagina Monologues are quickly approaching, my 21st birthday is less than a month away and I'm finally getting a chance to put together a 3-4 minute long film. That's right, a real film. People have won awards for films shorter than that!

To summarize, I know what I need to do. I need to get my head out of the clouds and maintain reality in the simplest and best ways possible. Have fun. Focus on the path not just the result that may not even happen. Everyone's an escapist but why hasn't anyone thought of escaping into the present?

XOXO
Jacks